YOU KNOW YOUR POLISH WHEN....
1. You or someone in your family owns a Nissan Maxima with a PL sticker proudly displayed
2. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives
3. You sing the same song - '100 lat' - on every occasion (weddings, birthdays, baby showers)
4. You watch soccer
5. You know very well Pope John Paul II was Polish and his name was
Karol, not Carol
6. You go to Midnight Mass every Christmas Eve and keep your Christmas tree up till February.
7. You don't feel the need to add an 's' to Pierogi because you already know the word is plural and it annoys you when others do. However, you still add 'y' to already plural english words... 'chipsy', 'dzinsy'
8. You are convinced your pets only understand Polish
9. You are forced to listen to Disco Polo by your parents
10. You can spot Polish people like Asians can spot each other
11. When others find out you're Polish, they tell you about every Polish person they've ever known, which is most likely followed by them mispronouncing common phrases such as 'czesc' or 'dziekuje'
12. Your name always gets slaughtered on the first day of school
13. The thought of eating cow stomach (flaki) doesn't gross you out
14. When you're at a stranger's house, you expect their garbage can to be under the sink
15. Every window in your house must have 'firanki', even in the bathroom
16. Once in a while, you do a big 'przemeblowanie' at home
17. You always take off your shoes as soon as you step into someone else's house (even if the owner of the house insists you don't have to)
18. You celebrate your birthday AND your nameday, 'imieniny'
19. You were extremely surprised to learn that American weddings last hours, not days!!!
Polish kids vs. American kids
American kids: Move out when they're 18 with the full support of their parents.
Polish kids: Move out when they're 28, having saved enough money for a house, and are two weeks away from getting married....unless there's room in the basement for the newlyweds.
American kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings a Bundt cake, and you sip coffee and chat.
Polish kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings 3 days worth of food, begins to tidy up, dust, do the laundry, and rearrange the furniture.
American kids: Their dads always call before they come over to visit them, and it's usually only on special occasions.
Polish kids: Are not at all fazed when their dads show up, unannounced, on a Saturday morning at 8:00, and starts painting the window frames or mowing the lawn.
American kids: Always pay retail, and look in the Yellow Pages when they need to have something done.
Polish kids: Call their dad or uncle, and ask for another dad's or uncle's phone number to get it done...cash deal. Know what I mean??
American kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get only cake and coffee. No more.
Polish kids: Will come over and get cabbage rolls, pierogi, roast chicken , salad, bread, fruit, cheesecake a few before, during and after dinner drinks.
American kids: Will greet you with 'Hello' or 'Hi'.
Polish kids: Will give you a big hug, a kiss on your cheek, and a pat on your back.
American kids: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Polish kids: Call your parents Mom and Dad.
American kids: Have never seen you cry.
Polish kids: Cry with you.
American kids: Borrow your stuff for a few days and then return it.
Polish kids: Keep your stuff so long, they forget it's yours.
American kids: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
Polish kids: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.
American kids: Know few things about you.
Polish kids: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
American kids: Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on soft mushy white bread.
Polish kids: Eat kielbasa sandwiches with dill pickles on rye bread.
American kids: Think that being Polish is cool.
Polish kids: Know that being Polish is cool.